Beg Your Pardon?

Okay, this is an old picture, probably found in hundreds of joke powerpoint presentations, e-mailed around the world a couple of times, and always around this time.

This is again the time when Bush pardons two turkeys, so they escape the axe, instead of landing on the thanksgiving tables of overweight Americans. I understand this is a tradition since Harry Truman, but I still find it quite idiotic, especially in the light of what the Bushman achieved during his presidency.

"I liberated Iraqis" he claims - fuck all he did!

He was not over there, he didn't liberate anyone. People in Iraq are as fucked up as they were before, the world is in turmoil with wars he started, he alienated just about every single other country, he totally screwed the economy, and threw the country into massive debt.

But he pardoned two turkeys.

Someone get me a seat on the next Space Shuttle - I'm on the wrong fucking planet!!

Yesterday...

Good old John... he must be laughing his ass off in heaven, don't you think? In December 1980, he was shot dead, and almost 28 years later, the church forgives him something he said in 1966 (that was 42 years ago!)

In case you missed it, he said (about The Beatles, of course) "We're more popular than Jesus now."

That might sound to most people like quite a daring statement, but I'm pretty certain that he wasn't too far off with his remark. What mood or situation it came from, I don't really care.

What I do care about, though, is that - once again! - the Moronic Clusterfuck Society (tm) thought that
a) they need to get their panties in a bunch about such a statement even back then, and
b) they need to dig up something like this more than four decades later, just because it makes them think they will appear magnanimous and benevolent! Well, for the record - they don't!

Who the fuck in MCS City (a.k.a. The Vatican) came up with this garbage? Has the lack of sex of this guy (can't have been a girl, right?) caused an overspill of semen into his dried-out cerebral whorls? Has he been looking too deep into the mass wine bottle for too long? Or was he simply bored out of his wits?

Whatever it was, it can't have been healthy. The pardon made the news, was all over the air and the papers, and, well, another uproar is born!

Just think about it - one of the largest churches in the world deems the (probably drug-induced) boast of a singer/song writer in the wildest years of his youth to be important enough, to publicly declare forgiveness.

He didn't insult anyone - not even Jesus (not that I'd give a damn if he did!) He just mentioned that his gang were currently more popular than this historical figure. And he was probably right. And all his fans were probably in agreement with him.

If the church hadn't made such a fuss about this, I wouldn't even have known that he (or anyone else, for that matter) ever made such a statement. Now, everyone is again acutely aware of it... And you know what, MCS? The reaction amongst the fans is probably the same as back then.

So, there!

"I forgot to remember to forget" would be an appropriate song for them to play in the liturgy, now.

The Palin Drone - Two Comedians

Who of you remembers Michael Palin? This guy used to be a "Python" - a Monty Python, to be exact, and he was one of the funniest guys I've ever seen. Smart, witty, and with that indestructible kind of Britsh humor. He still makes me laugh my ass off every time I watch "The Meaning of Life" or "A Fish Called Wanda".

Thank goodness, he's not related to his namesake, the current runner for American Vice President, Sarah Palin.

She may have bigger tits than Michael, but - strangely enough - she's just as funny! Unfortunately, she's not as smart, and her wit is largely unintentional. Or isn't it? Could she really have been serious when she called Russia a neighboring country of Alaska? "They're right across the border!" Nah, c'mon! I'm sure that was a joke. She can't fool me!

Or can she?

You know, dear non-existent reader, I'm afraid it wasn't a joke. I don't know (really, I lack the facts!) if Obama is any smarter than she is (or Biden, for that matter), but at least when he's interviewed, he comes across with the regular attributes of a politician. I've called them all rats before, and I'm not about to change my mind here. Stupidity is not necessarily an attribute of politicians. There are smart ones (albeit precious few), and I'm reasonably confident (though, as I said, I lack the facts) that Obama is on the positive side of the smartness median of politicians.

So, when I have the choice between a smart rat and a stupid rat with tits, I kinda know which I'm gonna go for. (This is beside the fact that McCain has bigger tits than Sarah Palin.)

And unlike with women, I'm not interested in rat tits.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Stock Market

Someone must've pushed this button...


Oh, well, yes, the US housing market has been in trouble for quite a while, and banks have been letting blood like crazy, writing off money they were hoping for and with which they worked - or tried to.


What has become of the old saying "Don't sell the eggs before the hen has laid them!"?

Because that's the whole bloody reason for the current "crisis" on the stock market!

For years, brokers were selling foul credits they'd bought from the banks, sold them people who were dumb enough to believe the claims of infinite prosperity, double and triple safeguards and massive wins "when the time has come!" It was only a question of time until the whole bubble would burst.

Haven't we seen this before? Wasn't there something called the DotCom Bubble? Don't people ever learn?

Nope.

Not a sausage. Fuck all.

With some quite distressing results. The whole stock market is in free fall - or rather, in a troublesome downhill tumble, because of

a) idiots who believed the banks that they'd never have to pay off their house
b) idiots who told the house owners that they'd never have to pay off their house
c) idiots who sold the foul credits to other idiots
d) idiots who bought them for the reasons mentioned above
e) idiots who sold them on when the shit started hitting the fan
f) I could continue this list for quite a while...



Companies which have never had anything to do with housing markets are now three miles up shit creek without a paddle, because of the crystal ball idiots I mentioned in an earlier post, a long while ago. Good, strong enterprises are losing value and money, even though they never even touched any of these "structured instruments" the brokers like to drone about.


And right now, everyone is panicking as if there's a leaking, ready-to-burst septic tank hanging over their airheads. They tell you they know everything about the stock market, all the subtle rules and tricks of the trade, but the one thing they should know, but seemingly don't, is that panic only makes it worse.

"Herd dynamics" one newspaper called it.

Herds are made up of stupid animals, like sheep, for example. Yup, that sounds about right.

When I was a student, I once had a summer job, herding cows, and the neighboring sheep herds would come over and eat the grass that was reserved for our cows. We tried to chase them away, but they wouldn't be chased. We took to hitting them on the foreheads with our walking sticks. You actually had to smack them in the face quite hard for them to get the idea that they were on the wrong pasture. When you hit them hard enough, they ran away a couple of meters, waited for 10 seconds, then they came back, so you could hit them in the face again (they actually seemed to enjoy it... somehow).

Repeat at nauseam.

Exactly what we're seeing now.

I, for one, will hold on to my shares (not that I own a lot), but selling them now would be the most stupid, sheep-like behavior imaginable. I'm in no hurry - and neither should be anyone owning stock of a good, solid company.


Give it 10 seconds. Think hard. If you still want to sell after that, then go back and let them smack you in the face.


Oh, and when you get there, tell them it was me who told you.

Emancipation Fucking Hurts!!!

I had a bad week so far. My discs have been giving me trouble (the ones in my back, not the ones in my computers...), my teeth needed their biannual scale removal, and a check-up at the doc led to what felt like 5 litres of blood being removed from my system.

This was accomplished by

- the physiotherapist lady
- the dental hygienist lady
- the medical secretary (who was a lady, as well)

Wow. Three women out to hurt me, and boy, were they successful!

Isn't it interesting that the more emancipated women became in the past 100 years, the more they also started working where the job description contains a requirement for a healthy dose of sadistic tendencies?

Women are now doctors, mechanics, CEOs, hell, they're fucking astronauts!! There are so many bloody jobs where you don't have to hurt people, and women have that reputation of being kind, gentle and many other positive attributes. Dominating hookers have been around forever, I guess, but now they have so many more possibilities, and all of them socially accepted. And they get bloody good money for it, too! (Not that the hookers don't...)

Do they want to hurt men? Is it some deep, atavistic desire that they can now satisfy by going into professions where it is not just necessary, but sometimes actually inevitable to inflict pain?

I guess only a woman could actually answer these questions (maybe, just maybe, a woman is reading this blog and could comment!?).

Oh, and did I mention that these three ladies actually seemed to enjoy hurting me?

Maybe it's just because it was me. Maybe they are reading this blog, and that would give them a reason to hate me. Oh well.

Playing Games

When I visited China the last time, one of my Chinese business associates attempted to drag me into a conversation about the situation in Tibet.
Trying to avoid any political problems I politely steered the topic into another direction, not wanting the get mixed up in this, especially because I felt that his views would clash with mine.

My view? You sure you're interested?

Alright - I think that it's an internal matter for China, and that the rest of the world would do better to clean up their own messes first before ranting about a country and a situation that they don't know.

I (purely personally, mind you!) don't agree with how the Chinese government treats the people in Tibet, even though I don't claim to know enough about it to really make an informed comment (so what I wrote is a fucking uninformed comment, alright?)

I don't know if and how the Chinese government violates human rights, what they do or don't do.

What I know is the following: the regular Jim Wong on the street is not the same guy who sits on the governing body, and this regular guy has a conscience and feelings, too.

A couple of days ago, walking past the TV, my attention got caught by a TV spot which was on - what caught me, was the aestethics of the spot, so I stood there watching it, until it ended with a guy being shot, and the self-righteous sentence "The Olympic Games in Bejing - With Human Rights", followed by "supportteamtibet.org".

I almost puked.

If you want, you can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjIZ5nMTJBk

Alright - everyone has the right to have their say (even if most people are mostly talking crap). But as soon as it impinges on people's personal feelings, the speaking person should exercise some tact.

Especially if it hurts the collective feelings of a people of over one billion people who can influence shit about what their government does!

I mean, do the moron's at supportteamtibet.org even think that their government counterparts in China will a) watch the fucking thing if it's broadcast on a fucking German TV station, and b) give a flying rat's ass about it!?

The answer to both questions is probably a fat, resounding No!

But they take the arrogant stance of moral superiority, insult a huge population, and achieve - what? Diddly squat! Where were these idiots more than sixty years ago, when the Chinese entered Tibet for the umpteenth time? Where have they been in the meantime? There you go!

But they chose the moment of pride of the Chinese population to be hosting the most prestigious sporting event in the world to fucking give them hell about what their government (supposedly) does, and which they (the folks in the street) can't do anything about!

Does anyone else but me think that beating the hell out of these arrogant assholes would not constitute a human rights violoation?

The WIND of change

I've been way too lazy in this blog, and I've only just realized this today, when a colleague of mine sent me the blog of his daughter, and it was bloody up-to-date, interesting to read, and had a bit more clout than the blog of yours truly.

My clout is mainly missing because I don't have the fucking time to write all the fucking time. But that's another story...

Anyway, the cold wind should blow again, and for this time I've chosen the topic of the Beijing Olympics. Why? Because I'm sitting in the fucking airport lounge in Hong Kong, returning from a business trip from China to the not-fucking-Sweden neutral country I live in.

This is where I was (well, at least this is what I looked at at one point during my journey, and I happened to have my camera in my hand.) If you can guess the location, I'll give you a cookie.

Alright, there's a guy (actually there are many guys and girls), running around the world with a torch, and for the simple reason to "light a fire" somewhere else, during a frenetic opening ceremony which will probably show tons of people wearing ribbons around their wrists or other favorite body parts.

Why will they do that? Because they will be protesting the human rights violations that are happening in Tibet.

Righty-ho. I'm not disputing that such things are happening in Tibet. I'm not disputing the fact that the violation of human rights (unless it's me doing it) is condemnable and abominable. I'm not saying, we should all forget about Tibet, because it's got no oil anyway.

But here's a thought for all you protesters, all you whiners, whingers, and world-improvers:

• Don't buy computers from HP, and Dell! Don't eat burgers, steaks and fast food! They come from the US, and the US got fucking Gitmo, where they're violating human rights every day!
• Don't drink champagne, even if you're celebrating your petty little world-improvements, because France dropped atom bombs in the Mururoa atols!
• Don't eat Sushi, because the Japanese committed horrific war crimes during WW2!
• Don't play football, because (and they claim that, not me!) the Brits invented it, and they did horrible things to the blacks in Zimbawe (even before they started slashing their own wrists down there)!
• Don't eat pizza or pasta - the Italians were all Fascists in WW2!
• Stop smoking fucking Afghan weed - the Taliban wrecked that country!
• Stop driving your 2CVs or Ford Pintos! The fuel they use comes from bloody Saudi Arabia, Iran or - gasp! - Sweden! (So, stop screwing Swedish chicks, too!)
• Oh yeah - boycott the Olympics 2008 in Bejing. BUT: then also stop drinking tea, eating rice or quote fucking Confuzius!

Be fucking consistent, you would-be-Albert-Schweitzers!!!

If you want to help the Dalai Lama, spread his word, don't resort to violence! Oh, yes - and one more thing: do grow up and get a fucking life.

Our Chinese colleagues in this world are humans, too!