Have you ever subjected yourself to a diet? If so, you almost certainly have come across the Weight Watchers. These self-declared abolishers of obesity not only are internationally present, but they're obviously making lots of money with their philosophy, products, whatever.
Now, if you answered the introductory question with a soft, quiet "Yes...", don't worry - I'm not about to scold you for it. I'm slim (at 171cms, 74 kg may not be the ideal weight, but I consider myself far from overweight).
My girlfriend is slim, too. But, as it is with all women, their tits are too small and their butts are too big. That's what THEY think, mind you. So, she's kinda on a constant diet, always complaining about her weight (which is perfectly fine), and trying to find new ways to lose weight and make it stay lost. Therefore, suddenly a couple of Weight Watchers products land on my dinner table.
First one, tartar dip for roastbeef & toast (roastbeef and toast kinda defeating the idea, but that's not the point). I'm normally a tolerant person when it comes to food, like to try new stuff, and if a steak is a bit on the tough side, I'm the last one to complain. But this dip... it just tasted like... nothing. Not even like shit. It had no taste whatsoever.
Next try, the bread. I'm a sucker for bread. If there's no bread on my table, I get nervous. It's like... I was raised like this, I mean bread goes with (almost) anything, and if needs be, I could probably survive on bread (and a glass of good wine).
Have you ever been to Italy? Know what unsalted bread tastes like?
This was... worse. Unsalted bread I can take (if for a short while only), but if you think that bread can't really be disgusting, then you should try the Weight Watchers variety. It's just and simply dis-fucking-gusting!
Now, after trying two samples of Weight Watchers products, I'm done with them. Give me the full-fat mayonnaise, the salted, white bread, the full-fat cream, whatever any day of the week! After trying this, I don't care any longer if I will one day be released from my earthly existence by a merciful heart-attack caused by too much good food! Well, maybe not too much, but the tasty kind of food.
Don't go and tell me "Well, it doesn't taste THAT bad, it's edible, innit!?" - It's fucking NOT edible! Just like alcohol-free beer. Heaven forbid somebody invent Scotch-light!!!
There's only one diet that works, anyway, and that's the oldest there ever was:
Just Eat Half Of It!
So, all you diet-food manufacturers, you can kindly kiss my ass.
